Florence's Story

After reading several stories and message boards I noticed that most ostomates have one or two things in common. The first is that many of them have or have had UC and a number of the are cancer victims. My story is a little different. I have suffered with fecal incontinence for about 15 years. After hundreds of Dr's visits and many different doctors and diagnosis my final diagnosis was that my rectum muscles were no longer functioning well, all because I had three children. After 2 operations to try and repair the muscles, it was all for naught. The operations were not successful.

As I was almost housebound from the uncertainty of when I would have an accident, I decided to have a colostomy. I felt that I needed the control and not my rectum. I have been humiliated by accidents at work, at a formal dance and on trips in the car. Imagine the humiliation of meeting my stepson to be for the first time and having an accident in the car while going to see another stepson. I was horrified and cried like a baby, all the while hearing "it's ok, it happens to the best of us." And then to try and lighten the atmosphere he said "That's alright S___t happens". My husband to whom I've been married 10 years is the most understanding of all. When I told him I wanted to have a colostomy and how did he feel about it, he only said it was my decision and he would abide with that.

So I retired from my job (I was 60 yrs old) as a courtroom clerk in Superior Court. My job had me in the courtroom 2-3 hours at a time and many a time I had anxiety attacks when I felt the urge to use the bathroom and would run out of court before I had an accident. Every day I would take immodium to try and control it but it didn't always work.

So in order to get my life back, I opted to have a colostomy. Not all of my family thought I would be happy doing that and tried to talk me out of it. But I said until you walk in my shoes, then you can tell me what not to do. They are now very supportive and know that I am happy with my decision. I know it is not a pleasant task emptying the bag, but at least I am not cleaning up the floor, my clothes and having to be embarrased. I am in total control and I am grateful for that. Now I have the freedom to go anywhere and not worry about having an accident.

There is only one glitch. I had the surgery in March and this month my 89 year old mom came to live with us. There goes my freedom. Not to worry, I am still glad I did it. I can even babysit my grandchildren and not worry about anything.

Thanks for listening.

Florence

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